When I asked Nini out on our first date, I knew that if she said yes, one day in the future I would marry her

Nini's Story

‍Ching and I were flying back to South Africa for the last 2 weeks of June 2019 as I was attending my company's annual actuarial conference, and working in the Johannesburg office. Two of my Chinese colleagues were also attending the conference and wanted to do some sight-seeing Cape Town. I was initially helping them plan their itinerary, and then decided it made so much more sense to go with them to Cape Town instead.
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I planned our to-the-hour daily schedule, packed with sight-seeing, wine-farms and good food. A few days before we were scheduled to depart, Ching asked if we could have a date day to ourselves in Cape Town. He reasoned that in South Africa, our time is all given to my family and friends and we need some alone time. This was a solid reason, and as reluctant as I was to change all the plans that I had already made for Thursday 20 June, I agreed.
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Wednesday evening there were two suspicious incidences. I asked Ching if my two colleagues Chris and Sirui were going to join us on our date day. He replied and said he had organised a guide, a Chinese guide who uses WeChat, to take them around. I was very surprised - how on earth did he find a Chinese guide in Cape Town! He vaguely answered that he found the guide online, and I just accepted that Ching in general, is very resourceful (Correction: thanks @Crystal for arranging the Chinese guide). Later that night I see Ching ironing a shirt. He also then asked if I would like anything to be ironed. I thought we were going hiking, I did not pack anything that needed ironing.
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Thursday morning Ching and I drive to the beautiful Leeu Wine Estate in Franschoek. He had booked a couples spa day, including massages, facials, saunas and jacuzzis. This was followed by a two course lunch, a walk around the vineyard and a wine tasting session. It is off-season in Franschoek and we were blessed with wonderful weather and the whole wine farm to ourselves.
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Later in the afternoon, stuffed with food and wine, Ching announces that we are going for a picnic on top of the hill. As romantic as that sounded, I was very full and was not sure I could fit in any more food. I had voiced this concern to some of my friends and wondered if we should try cancel the picnic, to which they replied "NO. You can jump a bit and fit in some more cheese". I jumped a few times, and then off we went to our picnic.
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African sunset, rolling hills, a private luscious picnic - in hindsight, I really should've suspected something. After unpacking the food and tasting a few things, Ching out of the blue says to me that he would like to tell me all the reasons he loves me, and that being in love with someone and loving someone is two different things. Loving someone is to love them throughout all the good and bad. He lists a few reasons, some I agreed with, some I mentally noted to discuss afterwards. I was also trying to count, so that I could return the same number, if he asked me to give some reasons.
And then Ching asked if he could ask me a question. Now I half expected this to be "what are your reasons for loving me", and so confidently, I said "yes, ask away". And then he said "maybe you should stand up for this". And then I knew.
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Down on one knee, just us, in the most magical setting, he asked if I would marry him. Dumbfounded, I couldn't answer, trying to silently process the million thoughts flying through my head. And then he asked again, "will you marry me?" - and here we are today.

Ching's story

‍I had started planning this proposal months before the actual day. There were a number of key tasks that needed to be done: find a ring, get her ring size, buy the ring, ask her parents for their blessing, and plan the proposal logistics. I would like to thank certain people (Crystal, Louise, Reema, Michelle, Anna, Elfie) for their immense contribution - this proposal could be considered a team effort.
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After our two year mark, last year July, I decided that it was time. So when her work trip came up, I needed to get the ball rolling. Throughout the process of organising everything, I realised that I knew very little about what a proposal is, including - what's the difference between an engagement ring and a wedding band? Does she have to buy me a ring at the same time? Do girls then wear two rings? Does she take this ring off and then we put it back on the wedding day? My single male friends were as confused as I was. Hence, I reached out to oracles that were experienced and also knew what Nini would want.
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Initially I thought it would be great to throw a big surprise party, with all her friends and family hiding behind furniture to jump out after I proposed. I also thought we could go to a nice restaurant in Johannesburg, and I would propose after dessert. After all these plans were rejected by her closest, it was back to the drawing board. Our Cape Town trip was the perfect opportunity, but it was tough trying to find a way to fit my plan, into Nini's detailed and pre-planned travel schedule. Eventually, I directly just asked Nini if I could take over the planning for a day in Cape Town. Surprisingly, she didn't think much of this ask and said OK!
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I was probably most nervous calling her parents, actually. I had written a speech in English, translated it to Mandarin and rehearsed and edited it with both my Mandarin tutor and a few of our Chinese friends. After I learnt the ping-yin off-by-heart (some of the words I still don't really understand), I called Nini's parents on Facebook Messenger two weeks before our South Africa trip. Her dad, serious and direct - asked me 'what do you want to say'. And I said my piece. During the speech Nini's parent's interrupted with questions and comments. Where I understood, I answered. Where I didn't, I just continued with my speech. Overall, I thought the call went alright. Between the bad signal, and the miscommunication in Mandarin, I wasn't quite sure I got that firm yes - but the tone sounded positive, so the plan was to proceed.
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I had had a few moments of 'this is it', before the actual proposal. I think the biggest moment was when I got the ring - that was when it hit me. The moment of the proposal and asking twice was overwhelming, and I still can't believe she said yes!